


Lord Make Me A Rainbow

by darkesky



Series: picking up the pieces [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 13:31:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16724337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkesky/pseuds/darkesky
Summary: “How’s it looking?” Simon asks for Markus.The android hesitates. “I suggested he go to the hospital, but Carl does not wish that. He told me to tell you why before you go to his room… He said you’d argue with his assessment. But he doesn’t want to spend his last few moments with sterile walls and heart monitors.”---Markus always knew it was coming, but he never expected it.





	Lord Make Me A Rainbow

Very few people receive Markus’s private communication line. Due to the nature of his job, too many people try and call at odd hours… Sometimes, it comes in hushed tones as a threat. Since members of Jericho, honorary, original, or otherwise kept streaming through their doors, he had to become more  _ selective. _

He handpicks six people to hold it. Naturally, the other leaders of Jericho keep his private line in his contacts. North, Simon, Josh, and  _ Connor  _ rarely abuse the privilege. The only one who sends slightly  _ suspect  _ messages to him is North. Then, he handed it to Kara, who represents the hospital workers and a tentative friend. To round out the list, he gave it to Lucius.

One thing Carl told him, quite proudly, he’s responsible for naming  _ nothing  _ but his own paintings. Leo’s mother granted him that name. When he arrived at Carl’s house, fresh from Kamski’s production room, he came outfitted as Markus. He’ll have to ask Chloe about that…

Anyway, he’s certain Lucius picked out his own name. He stays to care for Carl, gladly taking on a role Markus would have. Markus wishes he had more time to visit Carl. Last time he saw him, though, was right after the revolution. Carl’s prone to his bed, unable to get out anymore, and Markus’s chained at his desk.

When the message sneaks through his mind, Markus tries to burst out of bed in that instant. Strong arms anchor him to the mattress, and confused mumblings fill the makeshift bedroom. Carl said they could move in next week. Until then, he supposes they can stay at New Jericho’s apartments.

_ ‘Markus, Carl wants you here. He thinks this is his time. - Lucius’ _

“Simon, we have to go.” Markus pulls his lover’s arms off of him, and he’s sprinting to the wardrobe in a second. What can he  _ wear?  _ For once, Carl requires discretion more than anything else. Getting stopped in the street by an android wanting to express gratitude or disgust  _ can’t  _ occur today. He needs a direct beeline to the manor… Unless Lucius finally broke down Carl and convinced him to go to the hospital.

The blond wiggles out of the sheets, staring at him with sleepy eyes. The words out of his mouth come slurred and jumbled. Offering a fond but hysterical smile, Markus tosses a plain jacket towards Simon. He  _ understands  _ Simon could never roll straight into consciousness. 

When Simon tries to speak again, it comes out coherent. “What’s going on?”

“I need to get to Carl…  _ Right  _ away.” Markus applies a hidden meaning to his words and hopes Simon doesn’t question it greatly. 

He staggers to his feet immediately and pulls the sweatshirt over his bare torso. Blinking at Markus, Simon clears his throat. Pausing in the middle of his speech, he stutters and yawns. “Can I have another… Another coat?”

“Of course.” Markus bundles another under his arm and quickly hurries to Simon’s side. Even with New Jericho’s abundant heating, Simon’s thermoregulator still acts up occasionally. He refuses to let it show; he refuses to complain about it. It’s still obvious when he needs double the number of coats as anyone else.

The blond yawns one last time before tucking himself beside Markus. “I’ve just checked the time of the last bus. It will swing us by Carl’s house… Are you sure you don’t mind me coming?”

“Do you mind coming?” Markus knows  _ exactly  _ how shy Simon can become. The first time he tried introducing him to Carl went down as a trainwreck. If anything, Carl found it  _ hilarious  _ and insisted he brings Simon by again. However, Simon went home and hid underneath the sheets of the bed.

Slipping his hand into Markus’s, Simon offers a bold smile. “I will follow you anywhere, Markus. Let’s go see your father.”

\---

By the time they reach Carl’s house, the place Markus once called home, it begins to snow. It trickles down from the sky like a silent teardrop. Simon’s hand snakes out, catching it in his gloved hand. Markus just pushes past it and hurries into the manor without a second’s hesitation.

Lucius opens the door before the monitors can detect Markus. He gives both androids a solemn look, an unreadable expression written across his face. Markus never got close with Lucius. Even after deviating, he acts  _ robotic.  _ Not in the same regard as Connor, just… Solemn and withdrawn.

“How’s it looking?” Simon asks for Markus. Simon keeps his hand firmly in Markus’s hand, never once softening the grip. Markus doesn’t know how to express his gratitude… He feels like he’s free falling. As if he’s finally gone untethered from the surface of the earth, and if Simon let go, he’d go drifting away forevermore.

The android hesitates. “I suggested he go to the hospital, but Carl does not wish that. He told me to tell you why before you go to his room… He said you’d  _ argue  _ with his assessment. But he doesn’t want to spend his last few moments with sterile walls and heart monitors.”

“They could extend his life,” Markus whispers to the ground. The agelong argument he had with Carl. Every time they even broached the topic of death, Carl would insist he planned to die in that bed. He’d call the people he cared for… Leo and Markus. Now, Lucius can be added to the list. In a way, he should be honored. In a way, Markus can’t help but feel jealous.

Markus can’t help but feel  _ everything.  _ He can feel the way his systems overheat inside his body, unable to process his stress and grief compacting. The revolution ended only a week ago. He thought Carl could live to Thanksgiving. The optimistic part of him, the one inspired by the fact the universe granted his people freedom, thought the universe would be merciful enough to spare Carl until Christmas. He always  _ loved  _ Christmas.

But he thought he had more time.

Lucius smiles sadly at Markus. “It’s not what Carl wants.”

“I know. I watched him sign DNR papers a year back.” If there was ever a moment he was on the brink of deviating, it was then. Markus argued fiercely with Carl, bringing up all the reasons  _ not  _ to do that. Yet, Carl simply sat there and took it until the man instructed him to stand in silence. Carl felt guilty for the command, and Markus bristled with the injustice of it all.

But in the end, Carl apologized and explained he just needed a moment of silence. After all, he just signed his life away.

The other android slowly starts mounting the stairs, and the two follow in an instant. Everything feels so familiar yet so  _ wrong  _ at the same time. “Carl wished to see you the second you got here, Markus. He wants you to come  _ alone,  _ however.”

“That’s okay,” Simon immediately says. His lover squeezes his hand tightly, trying to offer one last piece of comfort. 

Markus smiles weakly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’ll never leave your side.” He smiles at Markus before releasing his grip, joining Lucius to chat. Markus swallows hard as he steps in front of Carl’s bedroom door, trying to bring his courage about him. 

It’s just Carl… Why is it this  _ hard? _

\---

“I love you,” is the first thing Markus hears when he enters Carl’s room. He freezes on the threshold, staring at the man agape. If there’s one thing the man didn’t do, it was sappy sentiments like that. 

Carl weakly laughs. “Pick your mouth off the ground. I’m dying, I’m allowed to be sentimental.”

“Don’t say that,” he protests immediately. Markus hates how  _ weak  _ his voice sounds. It never sounded this weak when he was around anyone else. He counted on himself to be strong. When the world bullied Simon until all he could see is red, when the world turned its back on North and left her to her devices, when the world rained hell down on Josh’s pacifism, he acted like a rock for  _ all  _ of them. 

The elderly man raises an eyebrow. “I told you humans were fragile.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“I  _ love  _ you, Markus, but don’t force this issue. This isn’t your hill to die on.” Carl winces at the bad wording before pressing onwards. It does get a watery sort of smile to cross Markus’s face. “I never told you and Leo that enough.”

“I always knew.” And Markus did. He knows the exact moment he stopped being an android to Carl and started being a friend, a  _ son.  _ Markus knows when it stopped being about following a code for him and instead being able to do something for someone he loved so dearly.

An expression of disbelief plays with the man’s features. Instead of dwelling into the unsavory first months of their union, he shakes his head somewhat. “The point is… It’s okay to be sappy every once and awhile. When you start sounding like a rom-com, though, it’s time to stop.”

“Okay.” Markus finally works up the courage to walk across the room to the chair set up beside the bed. It never used to belong there… They never even kept a chair in the room. Lucius and Carl must have decided to move it in there when they  _ knew  _ the time had come. 

A mischievous smile crosses his face briefly. “From what I’ve heard, you don’t need any help with romance.”

“Carl-”

“Let me have this moment. I never got it with Leo… I never really got it with you. Let me speak.” Before Markus can say something else, he waves his hand vaguely… The expression appearing to  _ drain  _ him. Markus obediently shuts his mouth to allow him to finish. “I don’t care who you love… Well, not exactly. If you date a serial killer, it’s time to stop.”

Markus snorts, but even the humor seems to hang heavy in the air. Even the laugh makes him want to burst out in tears.

“But I don’t care if it’s a boy, girl, android, human, or  _ anything  _ else. As long as you’re happy, I want you to be with them. I trust you know when the relationship shouldn’t last.” Carl stares at the ceiling for a long moment before a smile crosses his lips. His eyes go cloudy, lost in a memory. “I adored Leo’s mother, but we weren’t meant to last. Don’t think for a second I regret that.”

“I’ve never heard you talk about her,” Markus confesses softly. He isn’t sure he  _ wants  _ Carl to talk about her. It feels as if the man reveals a secret side of him, one Markus never previously thought about. 

Carl shrugs. “You’re supposed to reminiscence when you’re dying… You’re supposed to give out advice. A lot of people don’t listen, Markus, but you always do. I don’t need you to continue on my story… But I want to make sure you get a good story for  _ yourself.” _

Markus twists inwards, trying to keep himself from imploding. He’s never met someone who meets fate so  _ calmly.  _ Markus screams internally, Markus wants to destroy something… And Carl just lays in his bed, regarding him with that classic smile and a gleam in his eyes.

On the surface, he smiles politely at him. “I think you’ve given me enough advice. You… Without you, none of this would have happened. You taught me how to be kind, how to be funny, how to be  _ human.” _

“Being human sure does suck when you grieve, though.” The elderly man shakes his head slightly. “I’ve seen enough friends come and go, Markus. I’ll be in good company.”

“Don’t go.” The words escape before Markus can restrain them. It’s not rational, it’s not  _ doable.  _ He can’t stop the pull of death any more than Carl can. They’re all helpless to whatever happens next. 

Carl reaches for Markus, hand grasping blindly for Markus. “Don’t think of it like that.”

“An android, when I first reached Jericho, asked me what I thought comes after death.” Markus frowns at the memory, something he hasn’t thought about in a long time. After stealing the truck of biocomponents, he felt as if he did  _ right  _ by them. In that one action, he honored their memory. It’s hard to mourn someone if you only knew them for a brief moment… But maybe if Markus got there  _ sooner,  _ he could have known them better.

Meeting his eyes for the first time, Markus notes the sad pull of Carl’s lips. “What did you tell her?”

“I… I didn’t know then. I don’t know now.”

“I’m not particularly religious, Markus.” The words inspire a laugh out of Carl again until it dissolves into a coughing fit. He shifts closer, and he holds tighter to his hand. Not now… Not yet. When Carl recovers, Markus releases the breath he didn’t know he held. “You  _ heard  _ about me when I was young. Certainly wasn’t one of God’s  _ good  _ sons. But whatever comes next, I’ll embrace it.”

He takes a ragged breath, and tears push at his eyes. Markus bows his head and presses his palms against his eyes. Carl once told him he felt uncomfortable when people around him cried. What do you do? Offer a handkerchief or pat them on the shoulder? Run away?

_ ‘It’s hard to run away when you’re in a wheelchair.’ _

Markus glances at Carl. “What will I do without you? You… You mean the world to me, Dad.”

“You know that’s not true, Markus. There’s a boy out there waiting for you. There’s a girl you kissed on national TV… They can watch over you… Maybe together, or maybe separate.” Carl leans back against the headboard, his conversation starting to disappear  _ inwards  _ instead of outside. 

He stares at Carl before processing what he suggests. A wry smile pulls at Markus’s lips. If he only  _ knew  _ how he felt about North and Simon… This is something he brings to Carl. This is where he gets advice. But if time’s running out, he’s not risking their last conversation settling on his slightly less…  _ Acceptable  _ decisions. “You’d love both of them.”

“I  _ will  _ love them. I’ll always be watching over you.” Something about the way Carl says it, the certainty settling on his face, reassures Markus in a way nothing else has. Markus leans over his knees and finally lets out a ragged cry. He doesn’t want Carl to watch over him from  _ above,  _ from heaven or whatever comes next. He wants Carl  _ here,  _ in his manor. 

Markus collects himself as Carl’s hand lands on his shoulder. The elderly man coughs before looking at the windows. “Do me a favor… Open the curtains. Just like old times.”

“It’s a good day to spend in bed.” Markus staggers to his feet, wrapping his hands around the curtains. He pulls them open, and he blinks at the light immediately flooding his vision. While they arrived at night, the sun finally chose to make its appearance. Pink and orange and red streak across the sky, staining the clouds and everything in its path.

Turning back to Carl, he makes his way back to the chair beside him. “This would make a fantastic painting… Think you’re up for one more…?”

Carl’s eyes lay open, unblinking. His lips twist into a smile, and the warmth of the sunshine soaks into his face. The word comes strangled through Markus’s teeth and gets no response. “Dad…? Dad, please…”

_ He’s gone.  _

Markus reaches over, closing Carl’s eyes for the last time. He died to what would have been a glorious painting, and it’s too ironic. The joke cuts deep at Markus, and the punchline stabs through his heart.

No sobs come to him this time. Instead, he prays to everyone he knows who has died. He prays Lucy watches over Carl. He prays all the androids from the revolution keep him in good company. He prays Carl finds all of his friends up there. He prays Carl gets to  _ walk  _ once again. 

Bending over, Markus tries to collect himself and push his stress levels back to what could be considered a manageable level. Eventually, he’ll have to get up and announce it… Tell Lucius, tell Simon, tell  _ Leo.  _ But until then, Markus will stay here and keep vigil over the first person who truly  _ saw  _ him.

\---

A sharp reminder comes crashing through the door fifteen minutes later. Leo stands in the threshold, clothes disheveled and nothing put on quite right. His hair sticks every which way as if he just woke up. The red gleam in his eyes sticks out sharply, unshed tears swelling at the bottom.

He pauses, staring down at the prone figure in the bed. “No… I… I came as fast as I heard. I live on the other side of town, and… And I had to get out of  _ bed  _ and find a ride from someone and… I  _ can’t…  _ I…”

“I’m sorry, Leo,” Markus murmurs, glancing at Carl’s other son.

Trembling violently, Leo crosses the room before collapsing on the other side of the bed. He grasps from his father’s hand before recoiling sharply. It’s cold… Carl went cold a while ago. “I… I can’t be too late. Please. Oh, please, God…”

Slowly, Markus gets to his feet to leave Leo with his father. He doesn’t get to say goodbyes to Carl. He doesn’t get to hear the advice Carl mockingly dispersed, the proper send-off he deserved. The universe thought it to be a cruel twist, stealing Carl away before Leo could have arrived. 

Before he leaves the room, the words burst free from him. “He told me… He said if there’s one thing he regrets, it’s that he never said ‘I love you’ enough.”

Leo breaks down, his wails ricocheting off the walls.

\---

Markus holds it together as he walks through the hallways. He holds it together as he passes the paintings Carl made painstakingly, the ones he could pick out the spots where Carl messed up or swooned over. He holds it together as he walks past Lucius and Simon in the kitchen. He holds it together so well, he barely feels like he’s breathing. 

Then, he reaches the art studio. This is where he felt most at home with Carl. This is where he keeps all of his memories with Carl. Once, he told Markus he was just an old man clinging to his paints. Now, it just… Who’s left to cling to his paints? 

There’s no unfinished painting. The last thing Carl worked on still sits on the giant canvas, waiting for someone to find it a new home. The first painting Markus did still sits on the easel. After cleaning up the mess of the attack on Leo, Carl went back to pick his painting on the easel. 

There’s paint splatters on the ground, all kinds of colors. One of the paint sets from Bellini sits overturned. Markus doesn’t remember making a mess in here, and he doesn’t know why Carl would have. But… Here it sits. Like a hurricane wrecked through the perfect preservation of a day started so well.

Someone wraps their arms around him, and he leans into their touch subconsciously. “He’s never going to paint again.”

“I know,” soothes Simon.

“He’s never going to come here again.” He’s never going to do  _ anything  _ anymore. Markus sucks a deep breath, trying to bottle his expression just a little longer. Just to hold on a little longer.

Then, it explodes out of him, and he sinks to the ground. He cries until everything’s been ripped out of him, until everything aches like it’s been rubbed raw. He cries until his tears mingle with the dried paint beneath him. 

“What do I do without Carl?” he cries between sobs.

Simon smiles weakly, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Do what he would have wanted… Just keep living.”

“Not today,” he rasps.

Simon wraps his arms around Markus and tugs him back into him, until his warmth is all Markus can feel. “It doesn’t have to be today.”

And Markus falls apart.

 


End file.
